magentarific | o12

[ text ]

HOUSE 40'S HOUSE RULES
1. At 11:00pm you shut the hell up because I have to get up to make sure Yotsuba's ready for school in the morning. Unless something really important happens and if you say it is and it isn't, punishment game.

2. No porn mags, eroge, or anything of that sort.

3. If I catch you with porn, you're going to beg me to kick you in the face instead of the punishment games you're going to have to put up with.

4. Yuri and Yotsuba don't have to follow any of these rules, but probably will anyway because they're decent things to live by.

5. If you break a minor rule, you have to sleep out in the front yard no matter what the weather is. Don't ask to sleep in anyone else's house or you'll get a punishment game.

6. Keep your rooms clean.

7. Keep the kitchen clean.

8. Keep the bathroom clean.

9. In fact, keep the house clean. Everyone clean up a mess the second they see it so I don't have to make a chore chart.

10. Do not kill each other. I know it's tempting because you're all morons, but don't do it.

11. Same rules about behavior toward each other except for that as the SSS from the afterlife normally has.

12. Yotsuba, you have to make sure that you get to school on time, eat all your vegetables, and don't get hurt. Also remember that we live with perpetually stupid people, so if they do something dumb, shake your finger at them and come get me.

13. If you harass Hayate, I will kill you.

14. Just because someone comes to visit me, Noda, does not mean you get to interrogate, hurt, harass, or kill them.

15. Irregular room inspections will occur (not you Naoi, you're allowed to have privacy) if I suspect you're not following the rules.

16. If you try to teach Yotsuba anything gross, punishment game.

17. I reserve the bathroom between 7:30am and 9:30am as well as 9:30pm to 10:00pm. Find another time to do your business.

18. You will remain fully clothed unless you are in your room or in the bathroom.

19. No measuring, I swear I will hurt you.

20. House meeting will be every Sunday. We can discuss any problems that we have, things we'd like to bring up, etc. to make sure that everything's running smoothly.

21. If you're planning to have guests over, let us know. I'll put a white board up in the kitchen.

22. No parties without my permission.

23. If you break anything, I get to break two of your things.

24. No one goes in my room.

25. In fact none of you are allowed to go into each others' rooms without permission from the owner of the room. I'm the head of the household so I'm allowed to for inspections.

26. I reserve the right to smack you if you piss me off.

27. It's ridiculous that I have to come up with a set of rules instead of expecting you guys to behave.

28. Saturday night is bedazzle something of Naoi's night and see how long it takes him to figure out what we messed with.
(I'm joking about that last one, don't actually do this unless I say so.)

29. If you have a problem with another member of the house, come to me. Don't throw furniture, your fists, your halberd, or Otonashi the goldfish at them.

30. Otonashi the goldfish has a higher rank in this house than you do, respect him accordingly.

[ action ]
[ After that, Yuri's going out to go shopping. See if she can't find a dog bed in case she decides to make anyone sleep outside and all that.

Okay, so maybe some of the rules were a little ridiculous but considering who lived in House 40 now, it was completely necessary with these boys.

Completely necessary.

Which is why Yuri was looking for pet supplies in the grocery store, as mean as it probably sounded. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Trust me, they're definitely necessary..

Anyway, you're right. I'll probably end up adding more as I need them. I tried to preempt as many situations as I could though.

Ah... I'm not sure if I really want to know... [squint..]

But yes, that seems like a good idea! Perhaps you could even make it like America's Constitution! Adding amendments to it and all.

--ahem. [clearing his throat]

We the people of House 40, in order to form a more perfect housing arrangement, establish organization, insure inter-home tranquility, provide for the common goldfish, promote the general cleanliness, and secure the ungodliness of Naoi-san and our prosperity, do ordain and establish the Constitution of House 40.

...or something like that.

Edited 2013-02-03 06:01 (UTC)

Ha!

[ Oh speaking of rules, amendments, and commandments. ]

Maybe I'll get stones and make whoever makes the need for a new rule carve it in.

You can be awfully scary sometimes, you know, Yurippe-san... ahahah... [that sounds like a terrible punishment]

What? That's normal. [ That's like an easy punishment. ]

I'm not sure how normal carving rules into stones is nowadays, Yurippe-san. Though I'm sure that might be a good way to make sure that they don't do it again. Maybe...

I meant that level of difficulty, not the stone slabs specifically.

..Oh! I see. That makes a rather large difference then...

Stone slabs in this case will definitely happen though.

Are you sure that's such a good idea though? Do they even have materials to use for that here...

Well I can just get a rock from the mountains, then they can carve using their fingernails if they have to! Or more likely, smaller rocks.

...I think fingernails would be a little bit too cruel, Yurippe-san.

[you're scaring him wow]

They're all dead, it'd grow back. If Yotsuba gets one she can use crayons.

Even if it would grow back, it's still a rather drastic consequence, isn't it? It's like this is going to go down in history as the Code of Nakamura.

[you know. instead of hammurabi]

In which case, I'll actually be remembered for something. Maybe I should skip that and just get a pyramid built here.

I think you could be remembered for a lot actually, Yurippe-san. And well, we did have pyramids here during that one experiment, didn't we?

Edited 2013-02-09 04:18 (UTC)

Yeah but they're gone now so they don't count. Plus no one really put much work in if it was during an experiment.

That's true... though getting an actual pyramid built here without the use of an experiment would take a while, wouldn't it? And it could even cost some people their lives! Corpses could end up being built into the walls and it'll sound like some horribly disturbing Poe story, except it would be real.

...that would really be terrifying, now that I think of it.

Actually, I think it would just be like what happened the first time the original pyramids were built.

[ Corpses getting built into the walls and all that, pretty legit. ]

Yes, that's what I was getting at! Though it's still disturbing nonetheless.

[a beat] People are revived here though, aren't they? So I wonder what would happen in that case.

Eternal torment, probably.

[ Wow, she says that so blase. ]

...You mean they'll just be stuck there?

Probably. We could call it the "Screaming Pyramids!"

...You truly are a scary person, Yurippe-san.

I'm just kidding. I get the feeling half of the people here would get their panties in a bunch if I so much as kicked someone the wrong way. There are a lot of "hero" types here.

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